You’re not going to like what I’m about to say…
If you’re looking to have a more fulfilling relationship with a woman (inside and outside of the bedroom) it may be in your best interest to postpone bumping uglies as long as possible. There are many advantages to waiting that pertain to not only your relationship, but also to your sexual health in general.
Results from a national study on sexual health done in 2008 show that men and women who were “early starters” (lost their virginity before the norm for their gender and ethnicity) had more sexual partners, more partners who were HIV-positive or injection-drug using, and were more likely to have sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Men who were “early starters” were also more likely to have problems with their downstairs equipment. Male “early starters” had more trouble becoming aroused, maintaining an erection, and achieving orgasm than their female counterparts and males that were “normal starters” or “late starters.”
As for your relationship, waiting to get down and dirty is associated with having better sex, better communication, greater relationship satisfaction, and greater perceived relationship stability (Busby et al., 2010). All of these associations are regardless of either person’s number of sexual partners, education, religiosity, or the amount of time they’ve been in a relationship. Basically, waiting pays off in the long run.
It’s possible that having sex sooner rather than later focuses the relationship on physical aspects early on, while waiting allows good communication to develop before sex becomes an issue. Good communication has positive outcomes in every realm of a relationship, especially sex. Communicating well with your partner can improve the sex you’re having and allow you to ask for the new things you’re dying to try.
I know, I know. You probably skimmed through this entire article because it’s exactly what your mom told you 8 years ago when you had your first serious talk about the birds and the bees. But mom was right! Research shows time and time again that waiting to do the horizontal mambo with your partner is beneficial for you and the relationship. Don’t forget, there are plenty of other things you can do that are just as sexy, if not sexier than, having sex. Be creative, have fun, and when the time comes – let loose.
Busby, D. M., Carroll, J. S., & Willoughby, B. J. (2010). Compatibility or restraint? The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 24(6), 766-774.
Sandfort, T. G. M., Orr, M., Hirsch, J. S., & Santelli, J. (2008). Long-term health correlates of timing of sexual debut: results from a national study. American Journal of Public Health, 98(1), 155-161.